So, it's been a while...

Holy cow! It's been WAY too long since I've sat down to write a post. But, you know, motherhood is HARD. Like way harder then I ever imagined. My kid is adorable, fun and the best thing that's ever happened to me, but seriously...being a parent is the most time consuming thing I've ever done. 

But I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

So, there's been a lot going on since I last updated 3 months ago. 3 months? Yikes! 

I guess I'll start where I left off. 

Benjamin came into this world after a crazy bout with pre-term labor. He weighed 7lbs7oz and he measured 19.5 inches. And despite being 5 weeks early, he came without any major issues or concerns. That's definitely something to be grateful for. 

Our first month home with Benjamin was not the best. Now don't get me wrong, he was a great baby! Never screamed, hardly cried, slept a lot. But becoming a parent for the first time is a huge adjustment. No matter how well behaved the baby is. Especially since at the time, I was also battling with my new arch nemesis; Post-Partum Anxiety. 

That shiz is no joke! From the moment he was born, I was a mess. I couldn't sleep because I was constantly wondering if Benjamin was alive/breathing. I know there's a normal amount of worry that's supposed to happen when you have a child, but this was so out of control that it was starting to affect my daily life. 

Every day at 6 o'clock on the dot, I'd start bawling uncontrollably because I thought that I was a terrible mother. I loved my son, but I HATED being a mom. I had thoughts of wishing that I was still pregnant with him. I felt that I wasn't ready to be a parent and I hated every minute of it. Again, I loved him. Never thought of harming him or myself, but I wasn't enjoying being a mommy. And that's no way to live. It wasn't fair to Benjamin. He deserved a happy mom, so I sought out help. 

And let me tell you, best thing I've ever done. 

2.5 months and a low dose of anti-depressants later, and I feel like a new woman. I love being a mom now! I mean, I'm tired ALL the time, I usually have some sort of spit up on my clothing and/or hair and my house has turned into a disaster zone because I just can't seem to find the time to clean it, but in spite of all that, I am happy being a mom and I'm loving my son more and more each day. 

It's an adventure, that's for sure. But I'm so happy that I'm here and I know it's exactly where I'm meant to be. 

So...Benjamin. Let's talk about Benjamin! He's my little chunky monkey and I just can't get enough of him. From here on out, I'm going to try to update this blog more often so that you all can see him grow like I do. I plan on putting him on the same blanket with the same stuffed tiger next to him every month so that you can see how he's changed and grown. 

I've got some catching up to do though...

I'm going to smoosh all 3 monthly pictures into this blog post for you. 

Just look at how much he's changed! My little guy is growing up so fast. I just can't believe it! 

Benjamin is now 3.5 months old. 

Here's a list of what he's up to these days: 

*He can hold his head up 

*He can roll over (tummy to back)

*He smiles socially now, not just because he's gassy.

*He's making eye contact and cooing at us. 

*He's eating a whole 6 oz per feeding now. Compared to the 1 oz he was at when we came home.

This kid is just amazing to me and I hope you enjoy the pictures! 

I'll try to update more regularly, I swear! I just have to time it perfectly when he's asleep. (: 

Thanks for reading! 

For more up-to-date updates (because let's be honest, I really suck at blogging right now), follow me on Instagram! ksalsy2012

XoXo

-K

Benjamin's Birth Story

Well. . . .  

*drum roll* 

HE'S HERE!!!

So, as some of you may know, on June 17th at 33 weeks, I was admitted to my hospital for pre-term labor. I was dilated to a 3 and 90% effaced. But as my hospital is not equipped to deliver babies before 36 weeks, I had to be transported to the nearest hospital with a NICU. In our case, that happened to be 2 hours away. Once we got to the new hospital, they had me admitted and I remained there on bed rest for 5 days. I was given Nifedipine to stop my contractions and when they checked my cervix that Friday even though I had progressed, they didn't see a need to keep me in the hospital any longer since I was no longer having active contractions. 

At that point, we had 2 options. 

1) I could go home and be put on bed rest, but if I delivered before 36 weeks, they would have to Life Flight my baby back to the city (without me). I could follow in 2 days if/when I was discharged. 

OR 

2) I could be discharged and be on bed rest at my sister's house in Ogden either until I hit 36 weeks(then I could go home) or until I delivered. 

It was a tough choice, but after we were told that there was about an 80% chance that we would deliver before 36 weeks, the choice was pretty obvious. I didn't like the option, because I didn't want to be without my husband so close to "D-day" but we had to do what was best for the baby. That meant choosing option number two, and it looks like we chose well! 

After 6 days of being at my sister's house, I started to feel some really uncomfortable contractions. Nothing debilitating...just uncomfortable. I went to L&D at the new hospital, and SURPRISE! I was dilated to a 6+ and I was 100% effaced with my membranes bulging. 

They told me point blank that at 34w5d I would not be leaving the hospital. I was going to have my baby! They gave me a minute to call my husband who had gone home (2.5 hours away) to work. He jumped in the car and raced towards us. This all happened at about 5:00 pm. 

After I was transported from triage to a labor room, they had my epidural placed. The contractions weren't that bad, but they wanted to place it before it was too late. At 6:00 the doctor came in and broke my water. After that, I progressed about 1 cm per hour. My husband made it at 7:30 pm with plenty of time to spare. And by 11:00 pm I was ready to push. After 1.5 hours of pushing, our son made his appearance. 

Benjamin David was born at 12:27 am on June 29th. He was 7 lbs 7 oz and measured at 19.5 inches. 

He had a full head of hair and looked just like his daddy. He came out crying and for being 5 weeks early, he did so well! He never had to be assisted with his breathing and while breast feeding remains a challenge, he's doing well with bottle feeding. I have been pumping from day one and he has my milk with only limited supplementation from formula. I wish I could breast feed exclusively, but at his age, the suck/swallow reflex is not usually developed fully. But, that's okay. As long as he's healthy, I can deal with not being able to breast feed quite yet. Maybe he'll get the hang of it in a couple weeks. We're not giving up! 

He was never in the NICU (I'm seriously amazed) and we were discharged from the hospital (as a family!) on July 1st. We've been home for 6 days now and he's doing so great! Aside from a little jaundice (which we hope is now resolved!), he's just as healthy as can be!

Anyway, thank you to everyone who has been following our story and watching for updates. 

And now, if you've read this far, here's your reward! PICTURES! 

My sweethearts 

Going home! 

All dressed up for our first Pediatrician appointment

First day home!

Yawning

Mr. Grumpy Face

So it looks like now my blog will be about being a Mom instead of being pregnant! Thank you all for reading, and I hope you'll continue to read. I'll be updating as we go. I promise they won't all be boring braggy mom posts (just some of them!).

-K

34 Weeks

Weekly Check-In

34 Weeks

Baby Salisbury is the size of a Butternut Squash this week!

Whelp, we've managed to keep this little stinker an inside baby! I've been discharged to my sister's house for almost a week now, and we're still hanging on. I'm still experiencing some mild contractions but, as of Monday, I haven't dilated any further! 

When they checked my cervix on Friday, I wasn't progressing so they decided to let me go to Ogden to my brother and sister's apartment to be on bed rest until either I deliver or until I hit 36 weeks. They didn't want to send me home because if they did, and I was to deliver before 36 weeks, my hospital would have to send us right back out the city because they don't have the facility to deal with pre-term babies. So, we came up with the solution of me being discharged to my sibling's house so that way if I do go into labor, I'll be literally 2 minutes away from a hospital with a NICU. Now, if I make it to 36 weeks, I can go home and deliver at my hospital with my doctor because Baby Salisbury won't need the NICU at that point (hopefully!). 

So, that's the new goal. 

I've got to be honest though, I was kind of looking forward to meeting this little guy. I know that it sounds terrible and selfish, but I would have been kind of okay with him being born (as long as he is healthy, of course). So now that it looks like that we might make it to 36 weeks (or even further),  I'm a little bummed. I was ready to meet him and cuddle him and love him. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm more than fine with him not being ready yet, but I did get excited for a little while there. 

We still have 12 days before we hit 36 weeks so there's still a chance that he'll make an appearance, but as of right now, it looks like he'll maybe make it to term. Which, I'm actually very grateful for despite my minor disappointment at not being able to meet him yet.

But, here's the second best thing to actually getting to hold him in my arms.
We got another 3D ultrasound at my appointment on Monday.
Same little chubby boy with the grumpy face. I love it.

So here I am, bored out of my mind, imposing on my wonderful siblings for the next 12 days. J had to go home to go back to work. Which is fine since nothing is happening here. I miss him, but I understand that it's not feasible to expect him to stay with me all day, every day. My siblings have been great though. They make me food, wait on me, and get me anything I want or need. I'm so so so grateful to them. I know that I'm a burden and I'm so happy that I have such understanding and patient siblings. My brother and sister share an apartment so I'm staying with them, and my other sister lives only 20 minutes away. So I'm in good hands. (:

If anything interesting happens, I'll try to update. But as of right now, I'm just a "ticking time bomb". That's what the nurses say anyway. I'm still 5 cm dilated, 90% effaced and my membranes are right there. So basically, my water could break at any moment. I guess we'll see! 

Here's my latest and greatest (as in biggest) belly shot. 

I guess we'll see if this is my last belly shot or not. Only time will tell! 

Have a great week! 

-K

33 Weeks

Weekly Check-In

33 Weeks

This week Baby Salisbury is the size of a Durian Fruit (eww)



Okay, okay...I'm a bad blogger. I totally missed last week. BUT, I have a good excuse, I really do!

I'm currently blogging from my hospital room in good 'ol Provo, Utah.
Yep, I said hospital room.


It's a long story...ready?

Monday afternoon, during my routine doctor's appointment, my doctor discovered that I was dilated and I was having contractions. He had me admitted to our local hospital with the hope that we could stop my contractions and stop me from dilating any further. Being 33 weeks, I would not be allowed to deliver at our local hospital. If I continued to progress, they'd have to transport me to the city, to a bigger hospital, where they can take care of pre-term babies better.

So after a couple hours, they checked and I was still progressing. So my doctor had no choice but to have me transported to Provo just in case I was to deliver. We were going to be air lifted out, but there turned out to be some bad weather over the mountains so the helicopter couldn't come get us. Instead, I got the oh-so-fun option of taking a two hour ambulance transport. J followed the ambulance in our own car that way he wouldn't be stranded in the city in case he needed to go somewhere. The ladies who transported me were super nice, but I really can't say that I loved riding backwards in the back of an ambulance through mountain passes.

Yeah...not my favorite.

Anyway, we arrived in Provo at 1 o'clock am on Tuesday morning.
The doctor who was on call came in and checked out my cervix. Here's the fun part-
My cervix was still mostly closed thanks to my cerclage (cervical stitch) that I had placed in February. It was only dilated 1 cm. What was dilated was a tear that had developed below opening to my cervix. That was dilated to 3 cm.

Long story short- I now have two holes in my cervix! The cerclage did such a good job of holding the opening closed, that the pressure from the contractions had to be relieved somehow, and we had a "blow out" below the opening. Pretty much like blowing out the side of a tire. Lovely mental image, I know.

So, I've been on bed rest and continual monitoring since Monday.
They've done everything they can to stop the labor, but they've also done some really important things that will improve our little guy's chances if he's to be born right now or anytime soon.
They gave me steroid shots to help develop our baby's lungs, and they put me on antibiotics to help prevent any infections. But best of all, they managed to stop my major contractions, so hopefully I won't dilate any further.

Tomorrow is our next big day- If I haven't dilated any further, there is a great chance that I'll be able to go home and be on bed rest until I deliver. If I can just make it to 36 weeks, then we can stay at home and deliver at our local hospital. On the other hand, if I have dilated any further when they check tomorrow, I'll more than likely have to stay here in the city and deliver. They don't want to risk sending me home, 2 hours away, if I'm just going to go back into pre-term labor. Then I'd just have to come back.

Cross your fingers for us! Baby Salisbury is looking GREAT. His vitals are perfect and he's in no distress whatsoever. We only need him to stay in there for 2.5 to 3 more weeks. If we can make it that long, then he' won't have to spend hardly any time in the NICU and we'll be able to take our son home (barring any medical issues). If we can't make it, then he'll more than likely spend a couple weeks in the NICU but babies of his gestational age have great odds of being perfectly healthy. They may be delayed with breathing/feeding, but for the most part, they're fine.


So, here's a picture of my hospital belly (hopefully this won't be my final belly shot!)

Please excuse the hospital selfie, I look and feel like crap. 

I hope you guys have had a better week than we have! We'll definitely keep you updated as we go! 

-K

31 Weeks

Weekly Check-In

31 Weeks! 

This week Baby Salisbury is the size of a Pineapple! 

The countdown continues...only 9 weeks to go! Holy guacamole, time is flying by!

So last week, I promised to update with pictures of my shower....

I may have lied. Well, not so much lied, as just didn't remember to take any pictures...

BUT, my step-mom did (thank goodness for her!) so as soon as I can steal those from her, I'll put pictures up. I promise for real this time! 

I must brag though...

My sisters threw the most adorable shower ever! The decorations were soooooo cute and I had a really good time! I am so grateful for everyone who came, it really meant a lot to me. And now, thanks to everyone, I have a fairly respectable diaper/wipes stash going on! I love it! 

We also got a really cute Winnie the Pooh stroller from my brother and sister-in-law and I think somebody really likes it...

Silly Luna. 

I wonder what she'll do when there's a baby in the stroller and she can't jump up there anymore.

Well, this last week has been pretty...entertaining? 

I've been to the hospital every day since Monday and I'm so over it. 

Monday I went in for a routine NST (Non Stress Test) and fetal growth ultrasound. It's a completely standard set of tests that I'm going to be doing weekly from here on out to monitor the baby and his growth because of my Gestational Diabetes. Because when you have GD, the babies tend to be born big. They want to make sure that he's not growing too big, too fast. 

The NST involves my belly being hooked up to monitors so they can follow the baby's heart rate/movements just to make sure that he's moving as often as he should and that his heart rate is good. And the fetal growth ultrasound is to measure how big he is and see how much he actually weighs. 

We passed the NST with flying colors. His heart rate and movements were perfect! The nurse said they could use his strip to teach a class. Good job, kid! (Proud mom moment!) 

And the fetal growth scan went really well too! The only thing is that he's a chunky baby! Where as the average baby at this age weighs a little less than 4 lbs, our "little" guy weighed in at 4 lbs 12oz! The lady said it could be off by +/- a week, but even so...looks like he's measuring ahead at this point. We'll keep monitoring it to make sure he's not getting too big too fast. 

And that was just Monday- 

Tuesday, I went in because I was feeling some cramping and having an excessive amount of Braxton Hicks contractions. Braxton Hicks are normal, but any more than 4-5 in an hour can be a sign of Pre-Term Labor. I was having multiple Braxton Hicks an hour for about 6 hours. That was too many and the nurse in Labor & Delivery told me to come on in for monitoring. While there, they did pick up some contractions. They gave me some medication to stop the contractions, and I got to go home. 

Then today, I had to come in as a follow up to yesterday's adventure. My doctor wanted me to come back in so that he could check my cervix to make sure that it's still closed and that the contractions weren't making it dilate. 

Everything looks good! No more Braxton Hicks, and my cervix remains closed! The only issue I'm having now, is that they found protein in my urine today and now I have to do a oh-so-fun 24 hour urine collection to see exactly how much protein is in my urine. Protein in the urine can be a sign of Toxemia or Preeclampsia. Hopefully it's nothing like that. I really don't want another medical condition to worry about! I'll keep you all updated.

Anyway...

Here's my 31 week belly! 

(Just ignore the grimy work bathroom)

Thanks for catching up with me! Hope everyone has a great week! 

-K

30 Weeks

Weekly Check-In

30 Weeks!

This week Baby Salisbury is the size of a Cucumber

We're almost there, people! 10 weeks to go, but only 7 weeks until we're full term! 

I can't believe that I could potentially have this baby in 7 weeks...YIKES! 

We're still tinkering away in the nursery. 

I've only got one corner done...

I want to pick up the pace, but we're still waiting on the rest of our furniture. My nesting instinct is going haywire but I can't do anything! It's making me crazy...

But I really like to go in there and sit in that chair and try and imagine what life is going to be like in 2 months. I'm going to be a mom. J is going to be a dad. 

Wow...it's just mind blowing!

I love just sitting in the nursery and feeling the kiddo kick and move around. 

It's the most comforting feeling in the world. 

It's kind of funny though...whenever J puts his hand on my stomach to try and feel the baby move, even if the kid has just been doing somersaults, he'll stop immediately. I don't know what he's got against his dad, but he refuses to kick for him! It's kind of funny, but I really wish the kid would cooperate, at least part of the time. 

I want J to be able to feel him. He's only ever felt him kick like twice. 

I'm not sure how the baby knows, but it's like clockwork- 

Me: Hurry, come feel! He's kicking

(J comes over and puts his hand on my belly) 

J: I don't feel anything

(Baby stops kicking)

Thanks kid. *sigh*

Well, in other news, I didn't have any medical issues this last week, so it's been pretty boring at the Salisbury house. (Let me just say that I'm totally okay with this)

But I've got to say, this 3rd trimester is kicking my butt. 

I had a really decent 1st and 2nd trimester. Hardly any symptoms. I had some mild nausea and there was a couple weeks where my lower back was hurting me a lot, but that's really it. I was never as tired as I am now! It's like as soon as I hit 28 weeks, my body decided to give up. 

I've started taking naps. And if you know me, you'll know that I don't do naps. I hate them because I always wake up from them feeling groggy and worse than I did before. But for the past few days, I can't help but fall asleep in the afternoons. I don't wake up feeling great, but I guess my body really needs it. 

So I won't fight it. 

I hope that these next 10 weeks go by fast. I'm so excited to meet our little one! We've been waiting a long time for this and we've fought so hard to stay positive. I just want these last couple months to be over so that I can hold my son. I want to cuddle him, take care of him, have long sleepless nights because he's cranky and won't sleep. I want to be a mom. I want to experience everything that goes along with that. Even the not so fun parts. Bring it on! I can't wait! 

Oh! My baby shower is this next Saturday. I'm so excited! If I know my sisters, I know it'll be a great party! They've been working hard to make this shower happen and I'm so grateful to the both of them! 

They both win the "Best Aunt Award" that I just made up. My son is going to love them as much as I do (: 

I'll update the blog with pictures of the shower next week! 

So here's my 30 week belly- 

We're getting there! 

I hope that everyone has a wonderful week! 

-K

29 Weeks

Weekly Check-In

29 Weeks

This week Baby Salisbury is the size of an Acorn Squash!

This past week has been CRAZY. Not in a really hectic way. . . but in the way that there just seems to be one thing after another piling up. 

Last Monday, as I was in the kitchen before work, I started to feel woozy. I've passed out before, so I kind of knew what was about to happen. I tried to get down to the floor before I could fall, but I didn't make it and ended up falling and smacking my head on the floor. We called the hospital, and they said that as long as I wasn't having concussion symptoms and as long as Baby was moving around, I would probably be fine. 

I took Monday off work to try and rest up and on Tuesday I made a second attempt at going to work. 

This time, I was driving (J drove seperately that morning) and I felt the tunnel vision start. I slowed WAY down to probably 10 mph or less and that's the last thing I remember. Next thing I know, I'm waking up with my car in a ditch and the front end through a barbed wire fence. 

I was really scared because I don't remember getting there. Luckily, one of J's old work buddies recognized our vehicle and pulled over to see if I was okay. He told me that he saw about 5 cars just drive right by me before he stopped. 

Nice.

So he called J for me and when he got there, he whisked me away to the hospital where I spent a wonderful morning/afternoon in Labor & Delivery being monitored. 

They ran a lot of tests. Full blood work, blood pressure, fetal monitoring, an EKG, urinalysis. 

Everything came back fine. I didn't pass out because of low blood sugar, or low blood pressure, or high blood pressure, or because my heart went wacky. I just passed out. Apparently this sort of thing can "just happen" to pregnant women sometimes. The baby may have been sitting on a nerve, or maybe my fluctuating hormones were just more than my body could keep up with? Who knows?

All I do know, is that now I'm banned from driving. Doctors orders. I'm not exactly excited about this...but again, I'll do what I have to do for this baby. 

Hmmm...what else? What else? Oh, yes...as of today, I'm officially on insulin for my Gestational Diabetes. 

At my last doctors appointment, I was prescribed a medication called Metformin to help lower my blood sugar, but it wasn't doing anything. My numbers were still high after almost 2 weeks of taking that stuff so my doctor decided that insulin is the way to go. 

I kind of knew it was coming, so it wasn't a shock. But I'll tell you what was a shock...the freaking price of insulin! Holy COW! 

We had to pay about $200 out of pocket for that stuff, even with insurance!

 I really hope that it lasts me until the end of this pregnancy. Because we just cannot afford that on a regular basis. 

Just add this to the list of things I'm not really excited about...

J had to give me my first shot because I'm a weenie and I can't stand the thought of sticking myself with a needle (even though it's tiny). I know I'll have to get over it soon...but not today. 

I've got to do 4 injections every day. 2 when I wake up before breakfast, 1 right before dinner and the last one right before bed. 

*sigh* 

It's not the end of the world. 

Not even close, but it just seems like one thing after the other these days. 

It's wearing on me a little bit. 

But hopefully this will be the last big surprise and I sincerely hope that this diabetes goes away after I give birth. *fingers crossed*

Anyway...in other news, J is wonderful! 

Look what he did for the baby's nursery!

I wish we had taken a 'before' picture because this thing was UGLY. It was painted a yucky brown color and it just looked worn down. 

J spent his last 4 weekends in my dad's shed working on it. He stripped off all the old paint and re-finished the natural wood. It's beautiful (and comfortable!) and I can't wait to rock our son to sleep in it. 

Love, love, love it. 

So, here's the belly...

We're getting there. Less than 3 months now! 

If I can just make it 8 more weeks, we'll be considered full-term and that would be good enough for me! 

Here's to hoping that next week will be better! 

-K