Holy cow! It's been WAY too long since I've sat down to write a post. But, you know, motherhood is HARD. Like way harder then I ever imagined. My kid is adorable, fun and the best thing that's ever happened to me, but seriously...being a parent is the most time consuming thing I've ever done.
But I wouldn't trade it for the world.
So, there's been a lot going on since I last updated 3 months ago. 3 months? Yikes!
I guess I'll start where I left off.
Benjamin came into this world after a crazy bout with pre-term labor. He weighed 7lbs7oz and he measured 19.5 inches. And despite being 5 weeks early, he came without any major issues or concerns. That's definitely something to be grateful for.
Our first month home with Benjamin was not the best. Now don't get me wrong, he was a great baby! Never screamed, hardly cried, slept a lot. But becoming a parent for the first time is a huge adjustment. No matter how well behaved the baby is. Especially since at the time, I was also battling with my new arch nemesis; Post-Partum Anxiety.
That shiz is no joke! From the moment he was born, I was a mess. I couldn't sleep because I was constantly wondering if Benjamin was alive/breathing. I know there's a normal amount of worry that's supposed to happen when you have a child, but this was so out of control that it was starting to affect my daily life.
Every day at 6 o'clock on the dot, I'd start bawling uncontrollably because I thought that I was a terrible mother. I loved my son, but I HATED being a mom. I had thoughts of wishing that I was still pregnant with him. I felt that I wasn't ready to be a parent and I hated every minute of it. Again, I loved him. Never thought of harming him or myself, but I wasn't enjoying being a mommy. And that's no way to live. It wasn't fair to Benjamin. He deserved a happy mom, so I sought out help.
And let me tell you, best thing I've ever done.
2.5 months and a low dose of anti-depressants later, and I feel like a new woman. I love being a mom now! I mean, I'm tired ALL the time, I usually have some sort of spit up on my clothing and/or hair and my house has turned into a disaster zone because I just can't seem to find the time to clean it, but in spite of all that, I am happy being a mom and I'm loving my son more and more each day.
It's an adventure, that's for sure. But I'm so happy that I'm here and I know it's exactly where I'm meant to be.
So...Benjamin. Let's talk about Benjamin! He's my little chunky monkey and I just can't get enough of him. From here on out, I'm going to try to update this blog more often so that you all can see him grow like I do. I plan on putting him on the same blanket with the same stuffed tiger next to him every month so that you can see how he's changed and grown.
I've got some catching up to do though...
I'm going to smoosh all 3 monthly pictures into this blog post for you.
Just look at how much he's changed! My little guy is growing up so fast. I just can't believe it!
Benjamin is now 3.5 months old.
Here's a list of what he's up to these days:
*He can hold his head up
*He can roll over (tummy to back)
*He smiles socially now, not just because he's gassy.
*He's making eye contact and cooing at us.
*He's eating a whole 6 oz per feeding now. Compared to the 1 oz he was at when we came home.
This kid is just amazing to me and I hope you enjoy the pictures!
I'll try to update more regularly, I swear! I just have to time it perfectly when he's asleep. (:
Thanks for reading!
For more up-to-date updates (because let's be honest, I really suck at blogging right now), follow me on Instagram! ksalsy2012
XoXo
-K
