22 Weeks

Weekly Check-In

22 Weeks

Baby Salisbury is the size of a papaya this week! 

It's been a good week. J and I had to go out to Salt Lake City for a Perinatologist (high risk pregnancy doctor) appointment. My doctor wanted me to go there for a consultation due to my history of past losses and also because of my history with chemotherapy and radiation. 

The appointment went great! They ended up doing their own thorough anatomy scan (I had one done at 18.5 weeks as well) so that they could measure baby and get a good read on the placenta and fluid. The doctor was incredibly nice. She said that everything looked great and that my past chemotherapy should not affect this baby. That took a huge weight off my chest. 

Baby was measuring perfectly with a great heartbeat. (I got to hear it for the first time, which was awesome!)

After our appointment, my wonderful husband took me to Red Lobster. I ate a whole pound of crab legs by myself. I am not ashamed. They were soooooo good! And I also ate half my weight in those Cheddar Bay Biscuits. I'm a little ashamed of that. The waiter also gave me 4 biscuits to go. I ate 2 on the way home. 

After lunch, J took me to Target where we worked on our registry a little bit and where we bought our first baby item! We bought a little elephant bottle. I've been so nervous to buy anything for the babe because I have this irrational fear that I'm going to jinx us, but I did it! It's adorable and I'm glad that I bought it.

On our way home, J stopped at the shopping outlets in Park City. I bought 3 maternity shirts and a pair of maternity jeans. I can still fit into most of my old jeans (with the help of a belly band) but I was just ready to get something more comfy. And oh my gosh, they're HEAVEN. I've never known comfort like this!

After being initially really nervous about my high risk appointment, it turned out to be a really great day (:

I've been feeling really good ever since. My energy is coming  back, but I'm still really lazy about doing chores. Mostly laundry. I'll start a load and move it to the dryer but that's about as far as I get. I HATE folding laundry now. I never used to mind it, but I cannot bring myself to do it. It's irritated J to the point where he's banished me from doing laundry.
"If you're not going to finish it, don't start it. I'll do it"
Okay! *dream come true* I'm off laundry duty until this child is born!




He said it like I should feel bad, but I really don't. I've never been more happy to let him do something.

Oh, and here's my 22 week bump!

Thanks for reading my silly little blog! Have a wonderful week! 

-K

I took the plunge.

Well, I did it. 

I bought my first baby item yesterday. Drum roll please...

TA-DA! 

Anti-climactic right? Well, as insignificant as it may seem, this was actually quite a big deal for me. 

I've been so afraid to buy ANYTHING for Baby Salisbury  because I just can't stand the thought of jinxing myself. After 3 losses, I don't feel like there's any "safe" point anymore. Most women that I've spoken to feel that after 12 weeks, they're out of the danger zone. But after what I went through last July, I just can't agree with that. 

Anyway, after our consultation with a Perinatologist (high-risk pregnancy doctor) yesterday afternoon, where everything looked great and Baby Salisbury was bouncing and wiggling around in there, I felt much more ready to take the plunge and buy something! So when we went to Target to work on our registry, I decided 

"Okay, what the heck? Let's do it!" I stopped where I was, looked down and there it was. An adorable little elephant bottle. $5. Perfect. 

I know that to most expectant mothers, this may seem like a trivial purchase. Most women buy clothes or nursery furniture as there first purchase. But this was a big step for me. And to be honest, I love it. I think it's tiny and adorable. The perfect compliment to Baby Salisbury. 

Here's the latest picture of our little guy. It's a really blurry profile shot. 

He was moving around so much that this is the best shot they could get. 

Little stinker (:

Thanks for reading! 

-K

21 Weeks

Weekly Check-in

21 weeks! 

I'll be posting one of these every Sunday. 

Technically, my week switches over on Monday, but Mondays are too hectic for me, so here you go. 

Baby Salisbury is the size of a pomegranate this week! 

I've been feeling pretty good. Physically I'm feeling much better. My morning sickness/nausea has pretty much gone away. Thank goodness! I'm still tired a lot, but I figure that growing a human is hard so it's okay to be tired. 

I don't know if it's cold or what, or if it's just another pregnancy symptom, but I cannot breathe! I am so stuffy ALL THE TIME. I even have to wear  breathe right strips to bed just so I can get some sleep. 

And speaking of going to bed, I go to sleep at like 8 to 8:30 every night. 

I don't know if I'm pregnant or just OLD.  Maybe both?

 I've started to feel the little guy moving around in there recently. I think the flutters started at about 18 weeks, and while they're still not constant, a few times a day I feel little jabs and swooshes in there.

I don't feel bubbles like some women. Instead, I feel a sensation like when you hit a dip in the road. 

You know when your stomach flips a little? Like that. 

 I love it. 

I think I've even felt little jabs from the outside. Those ones are more hard to pinpoint though. My hand has to be on the right spot at exactly the right time. It's all a matter of luck at this point. 

Lately I've been having a real sweet tooth. Which, if you know me, you'll know is really weird. I usually don't eat a lot of sweets. I prefer salty snacks. But every time I walk into the gas station, I end up grabbing some kind of candy. Then I don't finish the candy because I have sensitive teeth and the sugar hurts them. 

It's a vicious cycle. 

Buy candy. Take one bite. Teeth start to ache. Throw/give candy away. Repeat. 

Yesterday, J took me out to eat at one of our favorite little soda shops. It's like a 50's style Soda Fountain. They do AMAZING burgers, malts and best of all, fresh limes! 

I had a double BBQ Burger with cheese and onions and a large Fresh lime soda made the old fashioned way. 

(Fresh squeezed limes and simple syrup topped with seltzer water) 

I'm drooling just thinking about it even though I just had it yesterday. I guess that's what pregnancy is supposed to feel like. You get an idea in you head (about food) and it won't go away until you get what you want...

I'm a crazy pregnant food-monster these days. 

I think it must be part of what I've heard called the "Second Trimester Food Binge" 

During the first trimester, your appetite isn't awesome. Mostly because you're nauseous 90% of the time. So when the 2nd Trimester rolls around, your body wants to make up for lost time. 

So far, my 2nd Trimester has been all about food. 

It's a freaking miracle that I haven't gained a million pounds. 

Here's my 21 week bump. I feel like I'm actually looking pregnant and not just fat! Woohoo! That's a major accomplishment. 

I hope everyone has a great week! 

-K

Ta-da!

I have been very hesitant to do anything in the nursery. 

I feel like I'll jinx us if I start planning too far in advance. 

But, I really wanted to do something for our son. So, I completed this craft about a week ago. 

It's supposed to be a mobile, but after seeing how my cats were eyeing it, I've decided to just use it for decoration in the corner of the nursery above the glider & ottoman. Otherwise, I feel like I'd have 2 naughty cats falling on the baby during nap time because they were trying to grab the damn thing. 

I found this tutorial on Pinterest. 

It's straightforward and it's not difficult, but I've got to tell you...it's very tedious! Also potentially painful. My hand cramped up like 10 times throughout the project. But it was sooooo worth it! Don't you think? 

Well, I'm here...

Okay, so I guess I'm a blogger now.
I've been feeling stressed lately and I decided that it might be more productive for me to blog about my feelings rather then pick fights with my husband. I'm such a thoughtful wife, I know.

So I've decided to start a blog. I think it will mostly be a chronicle of my pregnancy adventures.

Let me give you a little background about me-

I'm 25 years old, married for almost 2 years and I've already experienced 3 pregnancy losses. The first, I miscarried after my placenta partially detached at 8 weeks. The second was a natural miscarriage at 5 weeks and the most recent,this past July was the most painful.

*Warning-detailed loss mentioned*

if you don't want to read about loss, I'd suggest skipping down to the bottom

 I was 17 weeks along and I started experiencing some cramps that I thought were gas pains. I went to the bathroom because I thought I had to go. It was then that I felt a popping sensation down below.  I reached down and felt it. I felt a round smooth something protruding. I panicked. I yelled for my husband and he rushed me to the ER. There, they did an ultrasound. Baby was perfectly fine! Flipping around in there and waving at us. My spirits were lifted. Maybe it was a prolapsed uterus! Maybe it was nothing! Then they preformed a vaginal exam-

From there, it's all a blur. Apparently my cervix had opened on it's own and the round something that I had felt was my gestational sac coming out of my uterus.

AKA my body was in labor and trying to deliver my baby. My precious 17 week old baby who was still flipping around and waving at us in there...

After the exam, the ER doctor called my OB and he ordered them to have me transferred to the OB Department. To one of the rooms that they reserve for "fetal demises".  They flipped me nearly upside down, hoping that gravity would save us. Maybe the sac would go back in and then he could possibly stitch my cervix closed. I started to feel sick, they gave me something to calm me down. I reacted badly to the medication and it made me gag/retch. That's when my water broke. The pressure from me gagging broke my water and effectively ended any chance my baby had of survival.

So that was it. Since my water had broken, I had no choice but to try and deliver. I was in labor for nearly 24 hours and had only progressed to 4. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I just couldn't keep going. My husband and I opted to have a D&C (Dilation and curettage) performed. We didn't get to see our baby because obviously D&C's are not very gentle...

We were told that she was a girl, and that when my water broke, her umbilical cord collapsed and she passed away due to lack of oxygen. She was with the angels before the surgical procedure to remove her. Thank God for that. I was so heartbroken that I didn't get to see her, to hold her. But a couple wonderful nurses took our little one and made plaster molds of her hands and feet for us.

Those molds are so precious to me. She was perfect. And tiny. And innocent.
I miss her.

I feel like my body betrayed her, and although I know that I didn't do anything wrong, I still feel so guilty that the reason she didn't make it was because my body failed her.

I love her and miss her and think of her every day. Especially since I became pregnant again.

*safe to read again*

As of right now, I'm 20w5d pregnant and it's the furthest I've ever made it. I'm nervous as hell most days. I am constantly on high alert for any sign of something wrong. I'm guessing that's why I feel so stressed all the time.

I had a cerclage (cervical stitch) placed at 15 weeks to prevent my cervix opening again by itself. And so far so good! Everything looks great! I just need to make it about 19 more weeks.

I promise that the rest of my posts won't be this depressing! I just wanted to cover the basics and now we'll move on to better and more normal topics!

Thanks for joining me on my big adventure to bring our little one home.